Ever since Eve ate that apple and immediately discovered the naked truth about her man (“Oh, Adam, for God’s sake, put on some pants!”), women have been wagging their fingers and shaking their heads disgustedly at men. Now, from comedian John Heffron, comes a CD for anyone who has ever wondered, What makes women ticked?
On Good Kid, Bad Adult, Heffron holds up a funhouse mirror to males and reflects on the reputedly crass and infuriating gender – often hilariously.
He unlocks the door and invites the audience to join him, the strippers, the slobs and the layabouts inhabiting the male clubhouse. Even those men who don’t consider themselves jerks-in-progress can learn from this amusing — and, yes, instructional – CD.
Professor Heffron, a champion of the reality-TV series Last Comic Standing, which returns this summer to NBC, teaches men that if you innocently go to a strip club (even if it’s just to ask the popular dancer for change of $20 because the bank is closed), avoid the “stripper dust.” He also warns his frat brothers about the hazards of the “We Gotta Go Girls,” the humorless security detail that protects the one “hot girl” in the herd with the vigilance of the Secret Service guarding the President.
In this raucous Men 101 class, listeners learn why a divorced woman is like “getting preapproved for credit”; why every man needs a “life caddie” and why, at the most inopportune time, man’s best friend can suddenly become your worst enemy. And although The Container Store will never stock them, Heffron explains — quite logically, ladies — why stairs make a great shelf.
Finally, Heffron debunks the greatest myth about men: It turns out males are sensitive critters – to other members of the tribe hunting for a, uh, good lady. Or something like that.