Alright, here I am to live blog this beast! Strap on your Snuggies.
8:00 PM Craig Robinson is doing a classy soft open with some smooth jazz.
8:05 PM A quick introduction of our judges (Greg Giraldo, Natasha Leggero, and Andy Kindler) with some stand up sound bites from each of them. I just saw Natasha live this past weekend; the lady’s charmingly hilarious. It can’t be denied.
8:06 PM Our first contestant, Maronzio Vance, passes through, after some natural banter between him and the judges. Confident!
8:08 PM Greg Giraldo is passing Felipe Esparza because he’s seen him do better on other occasions. This is a whole new ballgame, folks. “Si se puede.”
8:11 PM This red devil from Long Island and the Gothic killer clown should form an act together. Two wrongs might not make a right, but could cause a laugh. No joke!
8:13 PM Kirk Fox is getting real during his audition, and it’s working. I’m sure lots of these starry-eyed hopefuls, in fact, “peak in the hallway.”
8:14 PM Laurie Kilmartin, 22-year stand up vet, is working the baby angle. No wait, the camera is working the baby angle.
8:16 PM I like this easy riffing between judges and comedians! Andy Kindler is someone’s personal shopper with his inspired take on fashion, and that someone knows how to keep the red carpet guessing.
8:19 PM I would like to admit during commercial that I am editing and tweaking posts from above. I am OCD, but mostly about full disclosure.
8:21 PM Contestant Fortune has a stage curtain with an exercise bike next to it in her home! Now that’s working out material.
8:22 PM She’s passed and referenced pumping iron to prepare. Did I call it, or did I call it? Rhetorical.
8:23 PM I keep missing people’s names. Each one is an individual dream, and they should not be lumped together in this horrific method. Guy from Chicago passed!
8:24 PM Marc Ryan from Louisiana made a reference to “cheesy reality TV judges” in his routine. Uh ohhh. He called Natasha Nancy. Two strikes, and out.
8:26 PM A fun montage of “I’m half-comedian and half-hack” jokes! It’s so true!
8:28 PM Kevin Small and his small pee-pee is unintentionally funny. And Giraldo is trying to explain it, but Kindler goes ahead and swings him through!
8:29 PM A chorus line of passes. This season already feels more feel-good than ones past.
8:30 PM Craig Robinson is trying his hand at the audition process, and is summarily dismissed from every competition now or in the future by Kindler. Oh well, he can always host. You gotta start somewhere!
8:35 PM Still Los Angeles Auditions Day One. We’re in the parking lot at the Hollywood Improv and people’s headshots are leering at us. Guy Torry is up to bat. My sports metaphors are so clearly only metaphors. Mini-episode of Cribs with him.
8:37 PM Torry just congratulated the judges on their new jobs. The self-recognition vibe is warm, but his actual set doesn’t go as well. Kindler knows he’s going to crush the room that evening, but isn’t sure about his material. He’s still passed!
8:39 PM Edith Piaf brought a dog in a hat, and I’m not sure if she’s the woman handling the dog onstage or the woman voicing him offstage. Keep ’em guessing!
8:41 PM Taylor Williamson nails his audition by selling the goods. The showcase is next! Time to go pasta load for this marathon premiere. Two hours is a long time to sit up when you have a crick in your neck. TRUE.
8:45 PM The Los Angeles evening showcase has begun. Craig Robinson is wearing a fancy vest to note the occasion. Felipe Esparza takes the stage, and opens with a joke about bedding a larger woman. He gets physical; he does well.
8:47 PM Fortune Feimster, Rob Delaney, and Lil’ Rel all do great. Kevin Small doesn’t fare as well. He seems Zen about the experience.
8:51 PM Laurie Kilmartin is solid. Jacob Sirof is a self-hating Jew, and proud of it!
8:56 PM The NBC Fall line-up previews so far have been gripping dramas, and devoid of comedies. What does that say about the audience for LCS?
8:57 PM Kirk Fox is in a different zone for his set, and summarily kills. Taylor Williamson also does great, and David Feldman gets political. Anti-Sarah Palin reference and calling a woman in the audience a hippie!
9:00 PM Amy Claire, Maronzio Vance, and Cathy Ladman knocked ’em down left and right. Guy Torry is wearing a nice suit, and does well, as predicted! Shane Mauss has a memorable cadence, and brings it home.
9:04 PM Time for judges to retire to their chambers and get all 12 Angry Men.
9:08 PM Moving onto the semi’s are Felipe Esparza, David Feldman, Shane Mauss, Guy Torry, Kirk Fox, Jacob Sirof, Taylor Williamson, Lil’ Rel, Fortune Feimster, and Laurie Kilmartin! People are psyched, reflective, or both! Mandatory clip of comic calling her mom to tell her the news. I also wished they showed a clip of Laurie Kilmartin calling her baby though.
9:12 PM Oh, and it’s time for Los Angeles, Day Two, after the break! And a commercial for America’s Got Talent. People love contests! Right, wet T-shirts?
9:16 PM People are standing out in the rain, except for someone who is in a tent. Rachel Feinstein is up and at ’em with characters and stories. Unanimous pass!
9:18 PM This punk rock guy left the judges hanging with how punk rock he was. I’ve seen the Alien Warrior Comedian on YouTube! He’s not some two-second fad, guys.
9:20 PM Finally, the guy in the bear costume on stilts who goes by Sasquatch who has been in plenty of peripheral shots is onstage. Kindler says people should be themselves onstage. What if this guy has always had a tall, brown furry monster in him waiting to come out?
9:22 PM More passes including Paula Bel, James Adomian, Ron Babcock, and Tiffany in turquoise. I forget how quickly these clips roll.
9:27 PM Craig Robinson is comfortable with his pink umbrella, and Chip Pope is passed by the 3 Yes-keteers.
9:29 PM More names and faces rushing by. I look down to type and a new one is up there. Too many to count at this point. Skippy Greene doesn’t make the cut, but Christina Pazsitzky and Chris Fairbanks did! So does Cristela Alonzo!
9:32 PM Andy Kindler can’t stop telling the comics what to do, what to wear. His crowdwork with nervous groups of one is impeccable.
9:35 PM Oh, they did show a preview for NBC’s Outsourced, first comedy promo. I don’t knooooow, you guys. I had a hard time writing comedy back there. Oops.
9:36 PM A lot of these contestants are good at voices. I don’t know what that means. I’m not a psychic, or a reality TV soothsayer. I’m just saying.
9:37 PM Yay! Chip Pope opens the show and gets the crowd hot with a microwave joke.
9:39 PM Paula Bel’s deadpan demeanor cracks the crowd, and so does this next guy whose name I will get when they show it again. GEEZ.
9:40 PM Christina Pazsitzky does a Polish accent, and puts Wii into immigrant perspective. Tiffany Haddish pulls out one of her fake boobs, and the camera shows Greg Giraldo making a face (presumably disappointment that her boobs aren’t real?). James Adomian kills with his anthropomorphistic characters. Yeah, I broke out the big words (it went to commercial so I had time).
9:45 PM Wow, my speed has gone way down. I am tiring. The learning curve on this live blog thing is brutal. I’m still in the flat part of the graph. America’s Got Talent promises guys in glow-in-the-dark suits dance-floating with tennis balls. Seen it!
9:47 PM Rachel Feinstein from Washington D.C. (*single tear of recognition*) is very likeable, and the details in her stories are hilarious. Chris Fairbanks’ similarly charms with his natural layering style.
9:50 PM Jonathan Thymus (who has been in preview clips) is wearing a glowy suit and makes it work for him. Cristela Alonzo is here for the third time (could be the lucky charm) and slays the audience after demonstrating her sister pretending to be NASA on the phone. Jason Nash also does voices to successful effect. I was onto something seriously back at 9:36 PM. Those were different times though…
9:56 PM People are looking stressed out backstage, and it’s time for the results!
9:57 PM Rachel Feinstein is passed, along with Chip Pope, James Adomian, Jason Nash, Paula Dell, Cristela Alonzo, and Jonathan Thymus, who looks somewhat surprised in that shiny jacket.
9:59 PM One premiere later, and next week, it’s the New York auditions! See you then. Eeps. I’ll be caffeinated, pwomise.
10:00 PM FIN.