Today, reality star Kim Kardashian announced her divorce from NBA player Kris Humphries after only 72 days of marriage. And comedian Rob Delaney (pictured to the right) isn’t letting her off the hook. In an essay for Vice, Delaney states his plan to sue Kardashian for promoting her sham marriage and spreads the blame as far as Ryan Seacrest, E! Entertainment Television and Comcast.
Delaney explains how he envisions the televised wedding “pitch” went down, complete with the proper marketing channels and rock-solid pre-nup that Humphries no doubt signed. He writes about his particular disdain for Seacrest, who executive produces several Kardashian reality shows.
It seems doubtful a lawsuit like this would be successful but the sentiment behind it should receive as much press as the honeymoon pictures did. He writes, in part:
KIM KARDASHIAN, I WANT THIS FOR YOU. I don’t hate you. I hate your shows. I hate that I know who you are. But I could move to Patagonia or New Guinea and escape you if I wasn’t as willingly bound up in our terrifying modern consumer culture as you are. I know that under your unnecessary inch of makeup and Kevlar sheath dress is a heart that yearns for true love and could find and appreciate the pleasures in marriage that I described above. That’s why I’d like you to stay married. And if you won’t, I will sue you. Because when you wrap your marriage vows around a cubic zirconia encrusted baseball bat and beat us about the head and face with them, you can stay the fuck married for more than 20 minutes, you sexy monster. I’ll see you in court.
We really, really hope that he’ll actually see her in court. You should read Delaney’s entire piece here. And to keep up on with any potential legal proceedings, follow Delaney’s hilarious and very popular Twitter feed @robdelaney.