Longtime fans of Jim Gaffigan will proudly remember the comedian’s six-and-a-half minute final track on his 2004 album The Last Supper, wherein he reveals the process he uses to prepare a microwaved hot dog. Well, seven years later, he’s back in the kitchen, generously offering more tips on how to enjoy our favorite foods. Oh, and reminding us that his self-released special Mr. Universe is now available on his official site. This time, however, he’s trading in hot dogs for ice cream. Check it out below.
We all know Gaffigan is obsessed with food and he likes to eat lots of it. But unless you are a compulsive eater, what Gaffigan displays above might seem a bit foreign to you. As a compulsive eater, I recognize all-too-well Gaffigan’s style of right-before-bed “snacking.” Like Gaffigan, I also microwave my ice cream before consumption (or if I’m feeling au naturel, I’ll just let it sit on the counter for a while). The reason: I can’t eat ice cream as fast as I’d like to when it’s all hard like that. Yuk.
Once it’s melted enough, I’ll eat from the perimeter of the carton, because that’s where I find the texture most satisfying to me. (Tip: With its rounded side against the inside of the carton, push the spoon until it hits bottom, and then scrape upwards to claim your frosty bite-sized prize). Then I’ll scoop three-to-four huge heaps into a bowl, mostly in an attempt to convince myself I’m not a disgusting animal. When I’m done scooping, I’ll eat some more from the carton. I’ll add peanut butter or chocolate chips or crumbled cookies or whipped cream (or all of these things) to the ice cream in the bowl and then eat all of the contains therein. After I place the bowl in the sink — fill it with water or the ice cream will stick! — I’ll eat some more ice cream from the carton. And, then, maybe I’ll put it back in the freezer– if there’s even any left. And then the next day, I’ll punish myself at the gym to maintain my totally average body.
I guess what I’m saying is that if Jim Gaffigan would like to co-author a cook book for compulsive eaters, I’m game.