Hey, y’all! I’m coming to you live from South Carolina where I am here with my whole family (i.e. I’m drunk). So just, y’know, take that into consideration as you read. To the recap!
Hey, it’s the study gang—studying! Weirds!!! Flirty eyes between Britta and Troy. And, oh my, the Dean looking like some Star Search contestant competing in the Bonkers division. Turns out The Dualadean of Man has some good news and some bad news: Their professor has the flu. The test they’ve been cramming for is postponed! Hurrah!!!
With time to spare, the gang is free to do whatever they like, which for Troy and Abed means Inspector Spacetime playtime in the Dreamatorium, natch. Annie, ever the meddler, wants to accelerate the Britta-Troy storyline (no doubt to keep Britta and her whorey whorishness away from Jeff). She intervenes. This is the perfect day for Abed to show Annie the Dreamtorium, which he’s been promising to do, leaving Britta and Troy to go get tacos at that place that has become their Central Perk. (And where the dumb waiter who is wrong about everything thinks Die Hard was a bad movie.) Good news–good news!
Uh…except for Abed. With his loyal sidekick indisposed at lunch, Spacetime’s got a substitute constable in the form of Geneva (a.k.a. Annie), dressed in some Princess Leia-meets-Dorothy Zbornak getup and talking like Eliza Doolittle. It’s not going well. Annie is much better at make-believe Hospital Administration, but even worse, Abed’s mad at her for playing matchmaker. She’s toying with the fabric of the group. He’s run the analytics, and Annie’s playing with fire. Execute simulation. Cue stellar Troy impersonation. (Give Danny Pudi an Emmy, guys who give Emmys.)
Turns out Annie’s brain function isn’t up to par. She’s not dumb, exactly, but she doesn’t get the dynamics of the group the way Abed does. Control freak Annie does not like that, and spurned on by an adorable call from Troy whilst out on his date with Britta (now that I think about this, Mexican food is probably the worst date food in the history of date foods. Best? Fondue, obviously. Cue adorable giggling over lost cheese and the like. Oh, fondue. Anyway.), she jacks the Dreamtorium’s engine: From now on, before Abed says or does anything, he’s going to consider how it will affect the people around him. Abed will be empathic, damn it. (Yep, Annie just went ahead and moved that tissue box, like it wasn’t nothin’. Bitch. Uh-oh, Abed’s broken.
Annnd…he’s up! (There’s a mischievous twinkle in his eye. Methinks he’s about to screw with Annie bigtime. Let’s see, shall we?) He’s Jeff! And they’re in Greendale’s Hospital School. It’s a sexy emotional place with buttered-noodles vending machines. (Yep, screwing with her.) (Also, I want to go to there.) There are lots of details to get into here, but all I’m seeing is Annie and Jeff playing doctor. Annie wants to know where Abed is. Never heard of him. Uh-oh. HAS ANNIE KILLED ABED???
Oh look, there’s Britta and Troy fooling around with each other. (Abed’s version of fooling around=weird ear-and-torso stroking. Yeesh.) Where does Troy stand on the “where’s Abed” front? Nope, he has no idea where or who he is. But then–sodium pentathol! Troy didn’t get Inception, might as well have the hots for Clive Owen and gets more turned on by women in PJs than lingerie. (He just wants to know they’re comfortable. Thank you, Troy!!!) Poor thing. But where is Abed??? Oh yeah, Troy maybe once saw his name in the directory.
Simulated Shirley face-slap! (Thank god. Now do Pierce, Annie. Then Chang. Then do Jeff, but in a different way. Sorry, this is getting inappropriate.) Abed’s been phased out of this simulation because nobody needs him. (Yep, here comes the lesson.) But see, Annie does need him!
They’ve found Abed! Turns out he is in the hospital school—but he’s not a doctor, he’s a patient. (Dun dun dun!) Diagnosis? He’s a control freak who lacks empathy. People bend over backward to cater to him. Signed, Annie Edison, health care administrator.
Oy. It’s all too much for Annie. She just wants to be alone. Abed thinks this is a great idea. Begin simulation: Annie/Annie. Double oy. Only, ha! Reverse simulation! Annie does Abed. Cool, cool, cool. (Honestly you guys, this episode is totes hard to recap, but it’s fun, so if you’re still bearing with me, THANK YOU, DRINKS ARE ON ME.)
Chang locks up Abed in a locker. Ugh, this is sad. Except Annie’s in there, too, now, and she’s actually got some smart stuff to say: Abed’s analytics are imaginative and delightful, but his accuracy is for crap. He’s not going to be a failure just because he says so. He’s got anxiety like the rest of them. He’s afraid he won’t fit in, he’s afraid he’ll be alone—just like everyone else. Which means…Abed’s one of them! (Jesus Christ, I love this show. It’s like a 22-minute-long It’s Get Better commercial plus jokes!)
Until next week, friends, when I’ll be recapping back in New York and sober (ha! I kid). For now look out for the Blorgons!!!