Comedy trio tells Adam Carolla to ‘Suck My D*ck’ in music video

By | January 24, 2013 at 12:49 pm | 41 comments | Audio/Video, feature slider | Tags: , , , , , ,

While he was promoting his latest book last June, popular podcaster and sort-of comedian Adam Carolla told the New York Post what he really thought about women’s place in the world of comedy. “They make you hire a certain number of chicks, and they’re always the least funny on the writing staff,” he began. ”The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I’m just gonna tell her, ‘Be a staff writer for a sitcom– because they’ll have to hire you, they can’t really fire you, and you don’t have to produce that much. It’ll be awesome.’”

To say Carolla’s statements caused backlash, would be an understatement. And it was for good reason, seeing as 2012 may have been one of the best years for women in comedy both on television and in movies. And there are at least three women in comedy who haven’t forgotten Carolla’s words: Chicago improvisers Maggie Gottlieb, Laura Marsh and Lauren Summers.

Written by New York City-based comedy scribe Ryan Krebs and Portland-based Second City instructor Caitlin Kunkel, “SMD” – that is, “Suck My Dick” – is a blunt response to those men who still think women, as a whole, aren’t funny creatures.

“Balance out my weights with yoga every morning/ Throw my Warrior Pose in your face as a warning,” Gottlieb raps leading to the chorus, adding, “We can go play HORSE but all you throw is bricks/ So put your balls away and come and suck my dick.”

And at one point, the trio point-blank addresses Carolla.

Adam Carolla went on a little rant/ Had a chance, but he didn’t recant/ Tried to tell the world that we can’t get laughs/ ‘cause he’s making up for his short, little staff/ Dude plays it off like, ‘Lighten up, honeys’ since 1990 never has that fucker been funny/ Men try to treat us like the less funny species, but I saw ya’ll laughing at the Bridesmaids feces.

But you’ll have to listen to the entire song — beautifully recorded, I may add — and watch the deftly packaged video to fully appreciate the sentiment. Tell us what you think in the comments section. Enjoy!

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Dylan P. Gadino

Dylan is the founder and editor in chief of Laughspin. He launched Punchline Magazine in 2005 (which became Laughspin in the summer of 2011) with childhood friend Bill Bergmann. Dylan lives in northern New Jersey with his wife and two sons. He hopes the Shire is real.

  • JT

    Well not only are they not funny, they also can’t comprehend. Adam Carolla didn’t say that…. If you listened to the quote in property context you’d realize that you are stretching pretty far for something to get mad about…Almost even, angry lesbian mad… signed, a woman

  • Missquote

    This is a giant piece of shit, I can’t believe this even made it to our computer screens. ACE’s name drop is the only reason they got any reaction/traction. None of them even wrote the bit.

  • Timmy

    If I could hit these girls I would, but girls have a handicap in all forms of life where they get away with putting out crap and then pat themselves on the back all day. Tina Fey isn’t that funny either because NBC hasn’t churned out funny since Seinfield. There are a few good female comedians but none compete with Carlin, Hicks, CK, Joey Diaz, Stanhope, Carolla, Jim Jefferies, Marc Maron, Patrice O’neal (RIP), Bill Burr, Robert Kelly, Nick Dipallo…..fuck too many. What chick is funnier than these guys? Lampinelli? No.Leggero? No. Illiza Slesinger? Close, but no. Who would go down as the greats of comedy who are women? Rosanne Barr? Rose O’Donnell? Please.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=12614443 Jim Mitchell

    I take issue with the fact that they mention Tina Fey… Tina Fey would not have to say suck my dick in a attempt to be funny and if she did she would do it in a more thoughtful and original way.

    • Pratt D

      From her best-selling book, Bossypants:
      “I experienced car creepery at thirteen. I was walking home from middle school past a place called the World’s Largest Aquarium—which, legally, I don’t know how they could call it that, because it was obviously an average-sized aquarium. Maybe I should start referring to myself as the World’s Tallest Man and see how that goes? Anyway, I was walking home alone from school and I was wearing a dress. A dude drove by and yelled, “Nice tits.” Embarrassed and enraged, I screamed after him, “Suck my dick.” Sure, it didn’t make any sense, but at least I don’t hold in my anger.”

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=12614443 Jim Mitchell

        That pretty much proves my point.

  • Justin O

    Carolla has clarified this issue several times on his podcast. He was directly asked by the reporter , “who is funnier, men or women?”. Carolla vocalized his thought process saying, “either men or funnier, women or funnier, or they are EQUALLY as funny”. He found the notion that men and women were equally funny to be highly improbable. He thinks that, on the whole, men tend to be funnier to women. He in no way intended to imply or suggest that women WERE NOT funny or COULDN’T be funny. His response was accurately represented but taken out of context.

  • ComedyFan

    I’ll be completely honest, these ladies have no business critiquing Adam Carollas comedy; and their little song was completely ruined by the overly repeated SMDs. As far as their singing is concerned; I found their vocals to be well, mediocre at best. That aside, I understand the message they were trying to put out there but after the third round of suck my dicks I just wanted to turn off the volume.I surmise that the lack of variety in the song was at least partially done in order to attempt to cause the song to become stuck in the listeners head. Shame on you ladies!

  • Pingback: Dental Hygiene Case #4: Adam Carolla | dental eggs

  • Justhonest

    I will reiterate a few points here. There are very funny working female comedians who make a living making people laugh. I don’t know if Adam Carolla was misquoted, if he is a true chauvinist as he portrays, or what he really said. If he did say that women aren’t funny then he is incorrect. I believe he has since said that he believes there are more funny men than women, and I don’t know how one would really go about verifying this, so I can’t agree with that either.

    I must agree with others, however, that point out the video here is an ineffective statement as it’s just not that funny. This does not mean that women aren’t funny. It doesn’t even mean that the women who wrote, produced, and performed in the video aren’t funny. It just means that this effort, which was intended to illustrate that women are funny, wasn’t funny.

  • Pratt Dingman

    A few things:

    -First, the “white girls rapping has been done a million times”… What did you want them to do, wear blackface?

    -Reading the reactions it sounds like many people missed what I interpreted as the overall message of the video. All the reaction below is directed solely at the “women aren’t funny” argument (granted, the headline/story didn’t do them any favors by focusing on that aspect, and Carolla specifically), but I think the “talk down to me / treat me like a person” lines are the heart of the song. It seems a bit unfair to gloss over that and focus on just one 30-segment bit. The song opens by talking about being treated like an idiot by a car salesman. That’s a big deal. And it goes on from there.
    -Whoever “Diane Feinstein” is, congratulations for validating internet rule #1: Any discussion will always devolve to a mention of Hitler or a terrible rape reference.

  • Diane Feinstein.

    They need to be legitimately raped. Would be funnier.

    • ComedyVids

      Good one, “Diane.” Advocate rape as a joke. Since there are people like you, videos like this will always be funny and on point.

  • GnatZ

    That was embarrassing in every possible way.

  • Sare

    Wow. People are being extra critical about this video– why? I found it amusing, well made, and topical. That seems to be what they were going for, and I think they achieved it.

    • ComedyVids

      Agreed!

    • ComedyFan

      They sure did. Nawwwwt!

  • John Steve

    Women are not funny…let’s just leave it at that lol….only the fat unattractive ones are funny and that is a one in a million joke written by a dude

  • Bob

    This stinks. Why would Laughspin put their journalistic integrity behind this foolishness. Almost ruins Jay-Z’s lost ones.

    This video could be played before Carolla’s interview and no one would have even questioned him.

    And for the LOVE OF GOD WHITE PEOPLE NO ONE EVER RAPPED LIKE THAT and Rappers lost oversized fitteds and over sized gooses almost 10 years ago.

  • Poop

    Also why does it take a man to cowrite the response for women everywhere?

  • Poop

    And America still waits for a funny woman to make a joke about the comments he made. As funny as boycotts of his podcast are…

  • http://www.facebook.com/themarkgonzales Mark Gonzales

    So to defend women in comedy, female comics created a rap video by telling Adam Carolla to suck their dick? Not only have “white girls rapping” videos been done a million times but this doesn’t help support Christopher Hitchens’ Vanity Fair article at all.

    • disqus_oSaDK2M8z0

      Concur. About as hack as it gets. Point Carolla.

  • Random person

    This is brilliant! Hot girls, too.

  • paradigm

    To prove Adams point watch the video, they cant rap worth shit either

  • Buster

    Laura Marsh is a badass!

  • http://twitter.com/vyrm j isaac

    r/cringe

  • Shannon Tate

    Can we please get some funny women to do this video? It is not helping our cause.

  • tony

    To say that women are not funny is obviously absurd. Arguments can be made that the best tweets day-in-day-out come from women, sitcoms and movies are full of hilarious female leads, and half of my favorite stand ups are female. And those are just the women who make it to the public eye. I am sure there are creatives & writers I am unaware of who kill on twitter or are developing this years most quotable movie.

    While I am not trying to outright defend him, to his credit, Carolla did say that he wasn’t denying anything that was reported, but that the interview was edited in such a way that it did not show that he was directly answering a question the reported posed to him. And while everyone is quick to jump at Carolla for his chauvinistic public reputation, to deny that there could have been SOME sort of manipulation in how that interview was presented to the point where what he said could have been blown out of proportion would be ignorant.

    My thought on this though is that instead of dwelling on something said by a guy you clearly don’t like or respect, why don’t you just keep being hilarious, and as a result make people form their own opinion that whatever point he was trying to make was inaccurate. What happened to using negativity as fuel to get better?

    • Shannon Tate

      Well put Tony.

    • Mandy

      I believe that this comment is well meaning, though it doesn’t actually comment upon the featured video. However, your arguments come off sounding very much like someone saying, “Oh, I’m not homophobic. I have a gay friend. I’m just saying…” You start by extolling your own love for female comics (which I commend, even if it serves as a preface/excuse for what you actually end up saying), but then by the end, the logic just isn’t there to me. Instead of dwelling on it, we should just be funny? That would be like saying: I believe in women’s rights and that we should close the disparity of pay in the workplace, but the best way to accomplish it is to not talk about it.

      We (as in all people, not just women) have to talk about people like Carolla. We can’t stop talking about people like him. We cannot afford to be complacent just because his obtuse commentary happened in the last calendar year. You point out that Carolla didn’t deny anything that was reported. True, but he did correct the first misrepresentation of what he said. Real quote: “Obviously, I was misquoted,” he said. “I didn’t say, ‘Women aren’t
      funny.’ I said that men are funnier than women, because I was asked if
      men are funnier than women.” I don’t think this has been blown of proportion.

      I guess what I’m getting at is this: Ignoring Carolla won’t make me or any other woman funnier, but acknowledging his sexist views certainly doesn’t make women less funny. However, it does send a message to then men and women listening that archaic, patriarchal views such as his aren’t acceptable in either the main stream media or in our homes where we live. You lose nothing by standing up to bigotry, but we can and have lost a great deal by being silent.

      I commend the creators of this video and the author of this article. Let’s not stop talking about it until these issues are actually things of the past.

      • Shannon Tate

        I guess I just don’t understand. He was asked a question and he answered truthfully. Should he have lied if those weren’t his true feelings?

      • tony

        Mandy: First of all thanks a million for assigning a value of “just above homophobic” to my appreciation of female comics. While I understand your point that I might have been trying to preface an alpha male caveman view of what comedy should be, I can only say that I think funny people are funny, and could not care less what is between their legs.

        And yes, you can say my point is don’t dwell.

        I don’t think equating scumbag CEOs who find ways to pay people less for the same work to ONE GUY who while interviewed said guys are funnier than girls, is fair. But let’s do it for the sake of discussion: While subjugated, unrepresented, or unappreciated people should fight for their rights and equality in whatever capacity they desire, it does not make sense just getting pissed at an individual who thinks men and women can’t do the same things at the same caliber. Someone always will. Whether it is for employment rights or for recognition in the comedy world, one must prove their value. Once you are at the point where you can present everything you’ve done and then both qualitatively & quantitatively assess its worth, you will either get the money deserved from an employer, or someone else will be chomping at the bit to utilize you elsewhere. I obviously cannot speak for stand-ups as I am not a comic, but I think in general the idea is: if you kill every night, you are going to start headlining. The people that don’t kill, don’t headline for long. End of story.

        It is a little frustrating that your response had hints of Godwin’s Law, because I think that is a bit of an over-exaggeration for the circumstances. At the end of the day, gender inequality, along with homophobia, racism, and anything else we as society must fix, will go the way of the dodo. Give it time, as you can’t change beliefs overnight. In the meantime, constructive ways of eliminating stereotypes (in this case, keep being funny) seem more productive than a witch hunt. Yeah Rush Limbaugh is a POS, but why legitimize his rants by letting it get to you? Free speech is promised, liking what people have to say is not. Positive change trumps negativity in the long run. Again, it seems like this should just motivate female creatives to be better, not out of necessity, but because they can.

        And correct, I did not comment directly on the featured video. I will do that now for you: This video contains a rap song intending to be humorous. Aside from FotC, Garfunkel and Oates, and the occasional light hearted Eminem song, I cannot stand satirical rap. To me, it is completely overdone and rarely results in what I consider good humor. I did not respond directly at the video as nothing constructive would come of it. I, like everyone else, have a subjective view of who & what is or is not funny. But that’s a discussion for another time ;)

        • Mandy

          Tony,

          To be clear, I truly didn’t mean to imply you were a closet-misogynist. When people say, “I’m not homophobic, I have a gay friend,” I think they are, at least the majority of the time, being genuine and truly don’t have any personal beef with the gay community. What I don’t like is the idea that we have to qualify compliments or critiques as if to assure others that we aren’t being bigoted. The whole first bit you wrote about women as comedians was actually a very lovely thing to read, but given that it comes right before you try to, granted in a indirect/slight way, defend the sexist remarks of another person, it comes off like an excuse. I will concede that isn’t how you intended it, but that is how it read, at least to me.

          I don’t want to spend time arguing with or attacking your last comment because overall, I agree with you. I do think talent and effort should be and ultimately are rewarded in this world, but in the end, I can only comment from a place of my own experience, which is this: I am a female, comedic writer. When Adam Corolla said what he did last year, it felt like a personal attack. I (along with literally every woman in comedy I have ever met) have been pushing myself to “be better” ever since I started doing comedy, and I constantly feel an insane amount of pressure to somehow prove myself specifically because of my gender and my chosen career. Are there way more amazing people (men in particular) who don’t undermine or belittle women in comedy? Hell yes. It still feels like a blow when someone with a following like Carolla puts a blanket statement over my gender.

          To explain my reaction to your first comment, the underlying message that I get from and don’t like about saying, “Let’s just move on, not talk about it, and be funnier,” is that it implies that the blame for Carolla’s assault lies with me and other women in comedy for not working hard enough to have changed the mind of one vocal misogynist. I know from your follow up comment that you don’t seem the sort of person to ever intentionally say or even imply that, but it is how it reads to me and to many other women. I do think women are pushing themselves constantly, and it’s a much better time to be a female comedian now than it ever has been. That’s largely why I react so strongly to language that seems to hold women accountable for one idiot’s unkind remarks.

          I don’t think I’ll ever feel comfortable ignoring the Carolla’s of the world because I never want them to think that by not commenting upon or acknowledging them, we are somehow complicit. Most rational people would not assume that complicity, but these are not the most rational people we’re dealing with. Again, I think you and I have the same endgame in mind, but with different means to achieve it which is a good thing. If there were a single, easy fix to inequality, someone would have figured it out by now.

          Regardless of variance of opinion, “At the end of the day, gender inequality, along with homophobia, racism,
          and anything else we as society must fix, will go the way of the dodo” is damn fine thing to say, and I appreciate being able to understand your perspective better.

          • disqus_oSaDK2M8z0

            ?

      • disqus_oSaDK2M8z0

        Please don’t ignore Carolla. He is always right on the money.

  • JaGlorious Wafer

    Wow, they just s’d their own d’s on that one. I believe they went with what’s called a straw man. One of them instructs other people on how to be funny? Sweet.

  • http://twitter.com/ronaldjock Ronald Jock

    they did nothing to disprove Adam in this clip. And I disagree with Adam’s stance wholly.

  • AceFan

    This video proves Carolla’s point perfectly. Thanks Ladies.

  • http://twitter.com/MatManz Matt Manzella

    “Sort-of comedian” ey, wow. No bias in this article at all. Guarantee we never hear from these three again. BTW, I love female comics and comedic writers/actors. This is just trash and lazy writing.

  • http://twitter.com/MoFoley Mo Foley

    YEAH, GET IT LADIES!

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