In response to The Onion’s apology to Quvenzhané Wallis, former Onion staffers mock apologize

By | February 25, 2013 at 10:59 pm | 4 comments | News | Tags: , , , , ,

Earlier today The Onion‘s CEO Steve Hannah issued an apology for an Oscars-night tweet from the satirical newspaper’s official Twitter feed, wherein 9-year-old actress Quvenzhané Wallis (nominated in the lead actress category for her work in Beasts of the Southern Wild) was called a “cunt.”

“It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting,” the statement read, in part. Hours later a different type of apology was posted, this time on, a comedy Website launched under the Adult Swim banner in October of last year by ex Onion staffers.

Written by “Steve Banannah,” the ThingX apology doesn’t necessarily mock The Onion for its tweet or even The Onion‘s eventual apology, but rather society’s faux-righteousness, which basically forced The Onion to apologize, lest they go on being thought of as folks who actually think Willis is a cunt. The “Banannah” statement reads, in part:

…let me take this opportunity to apologize to anyone who’s ever been offended by anything at any point throughout time. To be challenged in any way, or made to feel an emotion that is not immediately recognizable, is the worst thing in the world, and something for which the incredible human gift of language should never, ever be used. We are sorry if your feelings were ever hurt about anything.

You can read the full post here. As of this writing, 63 percent of Laughspin readers believe The Onion should never have apologized for its tweet.

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About the Author

Dylan P. Gadino

Dylan is the founder and editor in chief of Laughspin. He launched Punchline Magazine in 2005 (which became Laughspin in the summer of 2011) with childhood friend Bill Bergmann. Dylan lives in northern New Jersey with his wife and two sons. He hopes the Shire is real.

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  • Serai 1

    I agree. Every time someone issues one of these cowed, fearful “apologies”, they empower the whiny OMG HOW DARE YOU OFFEND ME!!!! voices in our hypersensitive culture. When did we become such utter pus..sies? When did we lose the ability to roll our eyes at a stupid or offensive joke and just let it go? We’ve become worse than toddlers, shrieking like we’ve been stabbed every time we feel the least bit of discomfort. GROW UP.

  • Chase Roper

    When you really think about it, how many of us really know that Beasts of Southern Wild girl? I’m not saying she should be called a cunt but maybe shouldn’t not be.

  • Kathy Shaidle
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