Earlier today The Onion‘s CEO Steve Hannah issued an apology for an Oscars-night tweet from the satirical newspaper’s official Twitter feed, wherein 9-year-old actress Quvenzhané Wallis (nominated in the lead actress category for her work in Beasts of the Southern Wild) was called a “cunt.”
“It was crude and offensive—not to mention inconsistent with The Onion’s commitment to parody and satire, however biting,” the statement read, in part. Hours later a different type of apology was posted, this time on ThingX.com, a comedy Website launched under the Adult Swim banner in October of last year by ex Onion staffers.
Written by “Steve Banannah,” the ThingX apology doesn’t necessarily mock The Onion for its tweet or even The Onion‘s eventual apology, but rather society’s faux-righteousness, which basically forced The Onion to apologize, lest they go on being thought of as folks who actually think Willis is a cunt. The “Banannah” statement reads, in part:
…let me take this opportunity to apologize to anyone who’s ever been offended by anything at any point throughout time. To be challenged in any way, or made to feel an emotion that is not immediately recognizable, is the worst thing in the world, and something for which the incredible human gift of language should never, ever be used. We are sorry if your feelings were ever hurt about anything.