Happy Sadie Hawkins, everybody! In the spirit of tonight’s episode, I would like to invite all of you to my recap. (Yes, all of you. I’m slutty.) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVE TO WASH YOUR HAIR THAT NIGHT? THAT DOESN’T EVEN MAKE SENSE!
For those of you who are happily joining me, here we go, off to the study lounge. Pierce is talking about Inspector Spacetime, presumably because in NBC time, he’s only just been to the Spacetime convention one episode ago. (Which explains why that episode re-aired last week.) Holy Gluons, you guys—I think Community time and real time may have finally converged. It’s a space-time miracle! Yay!
Right, so back at Greendale, Abed’s up in arms over the lesser, sexist, generally meh American Spacetime. Deana Reed! (Also, I finally understand why the local supermarket in college was called Bread and Circus. Thank you, Abed!) Anyhoo, Sadie sock hop! (Wait, is the dean both Donna Reed and a character from The Warriors? I’m confused.)
Britta’s going to throw a counter dance to Sadie Hawkins to protest the sexist notion that women can only ask out men once a year. YOU GO, GIRL. (No seriously, Britta’s really come into her own this season. She’s no longer just a bumbling wannabe do-gooder, she’s actually been doing a lot of good. Wait, did I just jinx it?)
Sophie B. Hawkins dance! (Yep, jinxed it. I swear I didn’t plan that.) (Side note: You know that Sophie B. Hawkins’ lullaby “As I Lay Me Down,” where in the background someone’s mumbling (apparently) “ooh la kah koh” the whole time (thank you, Wikipedia)? I once heard someone say they thought it was a call and response of “Who likes tacos?” and “I like tacos,” and even though it’s definitely not, that’s still what I think she’s saying every time I hear that song, which is never.) (Side note to the side note: Also according to Wikipedia, apparently lots of people thought SBH was talking about tacos, so she explained that “ooh la kah koh” means “Wash your feet before you go to bed in an African language” but then confessed that she made it up. You guys, Sophie B. Hawkins is INSANE. What a weird thing to lie about! The giveaway should have been “African language.” Like, why not say which African language? Oh my god, Sophie B. Hawkins is the Manti Te’o of cheesy ‘90s ballads. This is mind-blowing.)
Oh, Susan B. Anthony. Makes more sense. Uh-oh, Britta’s a proud one. She’s sticking with Sophie and taking back Britta (v., as in “to Britta”). Gotta admire her spunk.
Meanwhile, Annie wants to set Abed up on a date, which seems to go against the whole girls-asking-out-guys thing, but I’ll let it slide because…Abed. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Greendale’s resident owl interested in a lady (there was the librarian and Eliza Coupe’s Secret Service agent and Annie (maybe) while he was Han Solo), so yes, I support this. So does Shirley, turns out, and she wants in. Competition time. This will all work out fine. Yes, definitely.
Okay, so everything’s topsy-turvy this week: first a backward dance wherein women ask men, and now Pierce is doling out advice (“keep lying) that Britta is taking. On top of that, Abed has sworn off high jinks, capers and romps. Nothing makes sense anymore.
Time to meet Abed’s ladies. Annie’s pick, bachelorette No. 1, is a manic-pixie dreamgirl who pays for things in song. (Stabby.) Shirley’s choice is a fragile church girl. OY. Two dates, two dances. (Yay, high jinks back on!) Church girl is cute and polite and looks kind of like Beyoncé if Beyoncé were a sexy librarian. Abed abandons her to “go get some punch,” which is code for “run across the caf and meet his other date.” Cold, Abed. Costume change! Coat-check girl is a cute hipster nerd named Rachel WHOM ABED IS TOTALLY GOING TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ONCE HE REALIZES NEITHER OF HIS DATES IS RIGHT FOR HIM. But let’s wait and see.
Où est Sophie B? Ruh-roh, Sophie B missing.
Poor Troy is desperate for high jinks. Being a boyfriend is boring.
Oh god, no really, Abed’s second date makes me want to stab myself in the face. Next time I see her around Brooklyn, I’m pushing her off her scooter.
Wow, Abed is surprisingly good at being sneaky and calculating; i.e., he seems like everyone else now. I dislike this.
Coat check girl is adorbz. And she’s been watching Abed since he came in. New partner in high jinks. (Sorry, Troy, but serves you right for getting a girlfriend and abandoning your best friend. #unresolvedhighschoolissues)
Britta’s wearing Docs! I love how ‘90s this episode is. You can even sort of buy her Rag & Bone denim-and-leather jacket that I keep almost buying even though it’s from Fall 2012 and none of you knew that or care about any of this because I forgot for a second that I’m not writing for a fashion website.
Mean dean. He just can’t wait to rub Britta’s Britta-ing of the dance in her cute little face. Why does he hate her so? Maybe it’s because she’s had the one thing he never will—Winger. (Oh, that was just a casual aside, but you know what? I’m totally right. That’s why he hates Britta. Okay.)
Oops. Abed is knee-deep in high jinks and blowing his cover. Bubble distraction! Rachel saves the day. I love her. (Those of you who don’t live in Brooklyn or Portland or Austin, does bachelorette No. 1’s character make sense to you? I guess the Natalie Portmans (in Garden State) and Chloë Sevignys (in anything) of the world made this character pretty universal, right? Like, maybe you’ve never met one in the flesh, but you understand this girl and her balloons and Hula-Hoop and utter punchability, right? Okay, just checking.)
Oops, guess what: Pierce gives bad advice.
Also, remember how it almost seems like Abed doesn’t really have Aspergers this episode? Yeah, well, he does. Poor Rachel. (He’ll come around, honey. You just wait.)
(This Nicky Flash AT&T 4G commercial is my least-favorite of the series, in case anyone was wondering.)
Abed is humbled. People get hurt by high hinks, even people who wear water wings to school dances. And especially adorable coat-check girls.
Oh! Sophie! (Pierce saved the day. Things really are topsy-turvy today.) She looks amazing! (I’m sorry I called you a crazypants before, SBH.) I forgot all about “Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover” and how much I simultaneously really liked it while hating how improperly she uses the subjunctive in it. (Geek.)
Rachel! Embarrassed dog. I think these two are soul mates. Just like Britta and Jeff. (They have to happen, right? I think it’s starting. How do they do that without hurting Troy? Okay okay, I don’t want to think about it right now. I just want to go dig out my Docs and luxuriate in the utter John Hughesyness of tonight.)
A cappella muppets!
I can’t. I just…I’m almost verklempt. Greatest episode since the Holocaust, you guys. Loved it. Going to watch it again. Right now. You guys do, too. Kbye.
Check out the full episode below!