On tonight’s Community, Troy is Abed (and vice versa), banners are the new diorama and I am flying high on a cocktail of wine and Benadryl because I got a B12 injection yesterday that is making me tweaky as FUCK. You know how Van Gogh cut off his own ear because he had such a raging ear ache? I get that now. (Also, is that ear ache story true? How would we know?) (Also, my doctor suggested the Benadryl; the wine was my idea.) (Also, you know how Dickens was paid by the word so he added lots of extra ones so he’d make more cash? I find that typing is a good distraction from how GODDAMN TWITCHY THAT GOOD-FOR-NOTHING B12 SHOT WAS, so this may be wordier than usual in service of self-busiment.)
ANYWAY. As the study group brainstorms possible projects, it is revealed that tomorrow is Britta and Troy’s first anniversary. They don’t care. This seems right. Is anybody deluded enough to think that Troy and Britta are going anywhere? (I literally just stopped to jog in place, to see if that works off any of this excess evil B12 energy. Nope.) (Also, Pierce is back. Are we out of order? Or had Chevy Chase not actually quit yet but was for some reason MIA for the last couple of episodes? Eh, who cares.)
Speaking of anniversaries…routine light-switch check!! (Wait, what’s wrong with Judge Reinhold? He’s cute. And has some awesome VCR-freezeworthy facial expressions in Fast Times.) Troy and Abed wish they could be each other for one day! And guess what—they will be. (Side note: as a former copy chief, it really rankles me when people say “one-year anniversary.” An anniversary is an annual occurrence, so throwing in “year” is unnecessarily repetitious. First. Say first anniversary. Thank you.)
How hard did Donald Glover and Danny Pudi have to try not to laugh while playing each other? This is awesome. They are so great as each other. (Abed’s drawl is a *smidge* too Southern, but who cares.)
I JUST ORDERED THAI FOOD!!!
Leonard is the front runner for valedictorian, turns out, and Shirley and Annie are right behind him in the No. 2 and 3 spots (respectively). Just thought I’d tell you.
Abed and Troy confess that they’ve switched bodies. Nobody cares. Passable and doable. Oh my god, Jeff must have said that like 14 times already. (Do you think it’s important? Somebody please stow this. Thank you. I’m all over the place.)
Okay, so for the record, it is super hard for me to keep track of who is who when Britta is talking to Troy (who is actually Abed). I believe this would be difficult even if I weren’t guzzling sauvignon blancadryl. I remember when I saw Vice Versa and Like Father, Like Son (when Kirk Cameron was still normal and cute, although now that I think about it, he was on the Pritikin Diet and had never tasted chocolate, even as a teenager, and that’s pretty rigid behavior, so he must have always been susceptible to something as bonkers as religious fanaticism, only, we didn’t know it then, though I always loved Michael J. Fox more and fought with my sister about who was cuter, him or Jon Bon Jovi and even though now I’d probably agree, Jon Bon Jovi, I will always love Alex P. Keaton, a kind and gentle Republican when that was still a thing. What was I saying?).
Oh. Yes. Switcheroos are confusing, because you’re constantly like, Wait, who is this? But honestly, it doesn’t matter, because how cute is it watching these two guys play each other?
Hi, Dean!!! (He wrote this episode, PS.) (PPS: I think Jim Rash and Adele are neck in neck for greatest shot at EGOT-ing. No offense to Adele, who is obviously amazing, but let’s go, Dean!) Oh yeah, back up: Abed and Troy misplaced the Freaky Friday DVD that is key to their returning to their normal bodies. Easy-way-out Jeff has gone and bought a replacement, but he knows the guys will be onto him. So he’s enlisting the dean in his trickery. Oh my god, (fake) routine light-switch check! Heeheehee. If that had actually worked, you know the dean (Jeff) would try to have sex with himself.
Oh wait, I meant to tell you guys this before: On the back of the Benadryl box, there are precisely two warnings. The first is “Do not use with any other product containing diphenhydramine, even on the skin.” The other is, “Do not use to make a child sleepy.” Oh my god. Is that an instruction for the fucking witch in Hansel and Gretel? Who would do this???
OH MY GOD AGAIN, MY ORDER NEVER WENT THROUGH. Fuck!!! I think I forgot to hit “confirm order” or whatever. Now I’ll be eating goddamn spring rolls at 11 p.m. but will hopefully be so zonked from my Vinho Venadryl that I won’t even care.
So, Britta and Troy (Abed) are having their anniversary lunch at the only Mexican restaurant in Greendale. (Have I been ordering these parentheticals inconsistently? Apologies.) Uh-oh, waiter wrench. The dreaded Die Hard twist.
Wait, the dean is acting Jeffrey-y. But Jeff isn’t acting dean-y. So who’s faking? Maybe this is the dean’s opportunity to — armed with his new body and exorbitant amount of hair gel — be a dick. The dean even sounds like Jeff!!!
Oh good, Britta and Troy are going to break up.
Janitors doing Sherlock Holmes. Cool. Oh wait, that’s a comedian! Eddie Pepitone! Hi, Eddie!
Leonard drops out. Cool. Annie is feeling things in her ladyparts for the dean, who is being a class-A jerk. (I feel you girl. We need more therapy.) Yep, Britta and Troy broke up. It’s sad, but they’ll be fine. Turns out the whole switcheroo plot was orchestrated by Troy and Abed themselves, because Troy couldn’t bear to hurt Britta. Oh god, are they the cutest friends ever or what? (And does Donald Glover need an Emmy?) Unless it really was real. I think both interpretations are valid. Like when I read The Metamorphosis, in high school, it really never occurred to me that Gregor Samsa wasn’t literally a bug. I felt kind of stupid for that but then felt kind of smart because I realized all my pretentious peers had lost the ability to read anything but the metaphor level. Anyway, that.
Pierce did the banners. They look passable and doable. Grand. Also, “having Jeffrey inside of me.” Yep. Out takes! But not really.
Tonight hit a reset button: Annie and Shirley are back in the running for valedictorian. Britta and Troy broke up, so they are free to be alone for a while and then (my guess), Britta and Troy will get together with Jeff and Annie (respectively). And that’s a wrap. My bath is running, you guys. Still feeling insanely twitchy and ill at ease, but now I’m also drunk. Funtimes. This B12 stuff is no joke. I wish I could be you for one day!!! Unless you also got a B12 injection, in which case no thank you. Until next week!