Listen, I’m not sure if you’ve been following the status of The Laughspin Comedy Festival on Twitter. You’ll have to go there and see it for yourself. I’m not going to spoonfeed you, ya know? Late last week, I began calling for submissions. If you look back on the timeline, you’ll see that we’ve adopted a pretty liberal booking policy—as well as some pretty progressive ideas about what a “festival” is or if we’re even “serious” about what we’re doing or not doing or if this is “real.” Regardless, we’ve booked our “headliner.” And that person is Pauly Casillas. He’s got more than 86,000 followers on Twitter, wherein he’s known as @PaulyPeligroso. I asked him to send me his rider so that we can make his “performance” as comfortable as possible. What you see below is that rider. We’re LEAKING it. Leaked shit online ALWAYS gets tons of hits, dude. It’s a fucking scandal when things get leaked. And believe me, this is a scandal. Or whatever.