Legendary comedian Pat Cooper announces his retirement: I got my dignity

By | October 18, 2013 at 9:45 am | 5 comments | News, TV/Movies | Tags: , ,

Legendary comedian Pat Cooper is retiring from the stage. The 84-year-old Brooklyn native was a guest on the Opie and Anthony Show on SiriusXM this morning, which is where he made the announcement.

On the show he explained that he felt he’s accomplished everything he set out to and that, very simply, he’s too old to continue anymore. He admitted that he’s been relying on cue cards to get through live shows. “If they write them any bigger the fucking audience won’t be able to see me!” he said, adding that it’s not just his eye sight that’s challenging his career. “Comedy is all about rhythm,” Cooper said. “If I’m noticing now my rhythm is not rhythm-y, it’s time to go. I got my dignity.” He later added: “It isn’t fun anymore. It’s not fun if I have to rely on things to help me on stage, like a crutch.”

Cooper explained that he actually stopped performing about four months ago. But this is the first time he’s gone public with his decision. Cooper (real name: Pasquale Caputo) also had something to say about fellow iconic performer Don Rickles, 87. “With all due respect to Don Rickles, he’s not all there anymore. Retire!” Cooper said. “And if he heard me say this he’d tell me ‘mind my business’ and he’d be right!”

A comedian for 60 years, Cooper said he’s happy hanging out with his grandkids post-career. A trip may also be in order. “I wanna go to Italy with a blind girl and tell her I’m Cary Grant,” he joked. Oh, and if anyone has plans to somehow commemorate his retirement, they should think twice about it. “If someone throws me [a party], I’m gonna tell `em, ‘Fuck you’ and go back into show business the next day.”

– reporting by Jorge Garrido

UPDATE: Listen to the audio below. Cooper’s announcement comes at about the 3:30 mark.

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Dylan P. Gadino

Dylan is the founder and editor in chief of Laughspin. He launched Punchline Magazine in 2005 (which became Laughspin in the summer of 2011) with childhood friend Bill Bergmann. Dylan lives in northern New Jersey with his wife and two sons. He hopes the Shire is real.

  • Alex Gough

    He killed today on O&A. Hope to at least hear some more great appearances from him soon.

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  • USAwinseverytime

    Ona are gay, Pat Cooper sucks and has not been relevant for decades..Look no furter than this. He retires and you can only find one article on the whole internet about it and that’s here on a website nobody even knows about. Opie and Anthony are cry babies that failed replacing the King Howard Stern…they got nothing, the only time they can get people to listen to them is when they talk about Howard. Howard does not even have to mention them and still gets millions of people to listen to him. They hate that so much, They just want “daddy” to talk about them but all Howard does is ignore them like the Nothings they are

    • Richard Dick

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  • Marianne

    wow…never was funny..just a wife cheater!