Husband Emails Wife Spreadsheet Of Excuses She Gave For Not Having Sex With Him; Wife Posts Sex Life Spreadsheet On Reddit

By | July 20, 2014 at 8:04 pm | 6 comments | Comedy Briefs, News | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

An unnamed husband thought he had the perfect way to convince his wife to have sex more often. The man sent her a spreadsheet of all the excuses his lover gave when she refused to sleep with him. But the move backfired in a big way when the woman posted the chart on Reddit, where it has now gone viral.

The wife, who goes by the Reddit name throwwwwaway29, explained that her husband emailed her the below sex spreadsheet (click to enlarge) as she was on her way to a business trip. The chart showed every time the husband tried to sleep with his wife over the last seven weeks, and whether or not he was successful in doing so. If they did not have sex (which happened quite often), the man quoted his wife’s excuses. These included legit physical reasons like “I’m too drunk and I ate too much” and “I might be getting sick” to lamer ones like “I’m watching my show, I don’t want to miss anything.” Hasn’t she ever heard of a DVR?


“Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone,” the wife wrote on Reddit about her husband’s sex excuses spreadsheet. “He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my ‘excuses,’ using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 ‘attempts’ on his part.

It was actually 28 attempts, but throwwwwaway29’s point was clear. What’s less clear is why she posted the sex excuses spreadsheet on Reddit, though it’s possible she just needed some advice. And whether she wanted it or not, posters were all-too-willing to tell throwwwwaway29 how to proceed. Suggestions ranged from sending an apology email or sexy photos to asking for his help with chores so she won’t feel as tired when he wants to make whoopee.

She may need to do more, however, as she wrote on Reddit that her husband has “cut contact” with her since sending the sex excuse spreadsheet. No word on how he responded to his wife posting their dirty laundry on the Internet. But if his idea of communication is sending his wife an email spreadsheet as she is about to leave town, she may be better off without him, anyway.

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Melissa Siegel

Melissa Siegel is an entertainment writer based in a suburb of New York City. You can also check out her work at

  • Nick

    So there are bunch of women that suggest “helping” around the house. Why does your husband/boyfriend have to do something for YOU before you consider sex? Don’t you realize that is kind of the whole point? Withholding sex from your partner just because you get a benefit out if it? That’s completely wrong and why many relationships fail. You don’t communicate, you shut your partner down when he tries to be intimate and only respond when you either feel like it or you get something out of it. What happened to intimacy and sex just because? Just because you have feelings for each other? Do you need anything more than that? I think the issue is that you get “programmed” to shut down men during your single life and the ones you don’t shut down you make them to work hard for it. Don’t you realize that once you’re in a relationship you need to stop that? Teasing might spice up things but manipulation is a major turn off, trust me.

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  • Matt Serna

    This is the reaction of a man pushed to the breaking point. The article says this went on for 7 weeks nearly two months that he documented I have to wonder how long had it been going on undocumented how many times did he try to communicate to his wife before things got this far. I know a man that went through something similar where his wife kept denying that any thing was wrong til he showed her in black and white some proof or evidence that she had a problem (in that case the problem was alcholism and the proof was reciepts and creditcard statements). Documenting this is a sign that this husband became desperate confirmed even more so by the fact he risked emberrassment not only for his wife but himself as well. what I want to know is did she cancel her trip and rush home to try and save her marriage or did she ignore her husbands feelings anyway and left for another ten days thinking he was bluffing about leaving her.

    • Jacking off constantly

      I agree Matt. I am sure there will be 50 female responses stating “maybe if he did a little more around the house she wouldn’t be so tired…And she would have sex” Sorry ladies, all of us married guys are in this boat. I work full time and am just as involved with our children as my wife. It does not change a thing! Matt is right. This is a man that is desperate and is actually showing proof to his wife of how many times he has been rejected.
      Just because sex is not important to her does not mean he doesn’t care about it! If she cared at all she would make an effort. I have spent hours cleaning the house, cooking dinner, reading the kids to bed, and massaging my wife’s feet just for the POSSIBILITY of sex, and still ben shot down multiple times in a row! I know this guys frustration, and it is bullshit. I didn’t start out pushy or needy (this guy probably didn’t either), You get desperate. Guys eventually give up on the dream of real intimacy and satisfaction. We get to the point that we just want 10 fucking minutes of release so we don’t end up on top of the clock tower with a high powered rifle! Really, sex is a healthy physical need for most men. I am very close to ending my marriage because of the lack of sex. It fucks up the whole package ladies, and turns us into people you would never want to be with anyway. I am so sick of the droves of articles of “what guys can do to put her in the mood”
      Take it from a good husband and father of 18 years (without fucking around my partner) that at a certain point “Women” need to take ownership of this marital problem.
      I only wish I could put myself through 15-20 minutes of doing something that sounds semi unappealing at the present moment…..let’s say every 72 hours? And in return I would make my wife feel worthy, attractive, loved, needed, appreciated, feminine, stress free, emotionally content, desired, and just fucking sane and human! Yes this is what it does ladies! No fucking games or manipulation, we are wired differently! If I had this power what a douche bag I would be for keeping it from her!?!
      Sounds easier to me than organizing every fucking romantic event in history, getting tampons 100’s of times in the middle of the night, spending hours of family time with in-laws you cant stand.
      Sorry about the underlying anger and frustration……Just a joke. I am not a dickhead with a huge ego. I am the father of two girls and all about enabling and supporting women to succeed. I would go as far as to say they are the superior sex (maybe off topic). I do like to feel masculine though…..I do what ever it takes to support my wife to feel feminine and just satisfied with life in general. I would have to rationalize (as all men do) that her unwillingness for sex goes beyond desire and shows either a greater manipulation, or just a lack of love.
      No guy wants to see romance leave the relationship, but realistically “desire” is not a valid excuse when you have entered a contract of celibacy with one individual. There is a lot of shit guys don’t “desire” to do in a give and take relationship, but if we know it is truly instrumental to maintain our spouse’s happiness……..we fucking do it!

      • John .Dlugos

        Well put !!

  • Fraggle1

    In these days in age, I’m not surprised to the new generations and societies lack of communication. The new generation texts, emails and communicate differently than we did in the past. Want to know how much our new generation lacks communication skills? Go to a high school and ask the new generation how they ask out someone? Lol….everyone is criticizing the individual (husband) how much he lacks communication skills but what about the wife? In addition, he documented all the times that he turned down. It’s like all the times when women say their husbands don’t do anything around the house when in actuality he does because of documentation such as this. One thing I do agree is, both need counseling and open up the communication line. This guy did great job. Kudos for him, for standing up for himself. I just know when a woman doesn’t want it….hello….something is wrong!!!! This is how cheating occurs and atleast he was man enough to document it!

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