Husband Emails Wife Spreadsheet Of Excuses She Gave For Not Having Sex With Him; Wife Posts Sex Life Spreadsheet On Reddit

By | July 20, 2014 at 8:04 pm | 3 comments | Comedy Briefs, News | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

An unnamed husband thought he had the perfect way to convince his wife to have sex more often. The man sent her a spreadsheet of all the excuses his lover gave when she refused to sleep with him. But the move backfired in a big way when the woman posted the chart on Reddit, where it has now gone viral.

The wife, who goes by the Reddit name throwwwwaway29, explained that her husband emailed her the below sex spreadsheet (click to enlarge) as she was on her way to a business trip. The chart showed every time the husband tried to sleep with his wife over the last seven weeks, and whether or not he was successful in doing so. If they did not have sex (which happened quite often), the man quoted his wife’s excuses. These included legit physical reasons like “I’m too drunk and I ate too much” and “I might be getting sick” to lamer ones like “I’m watching my show, I don’t want to miss anything.” Hasn’t she ever heard of a DVR?

excuse-chart-600

“Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone,” the wife wrote on Reddit about her husband’s sex excuses spreadsheet. “He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my ‘excuses,’ using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 ‘attempts’ on his part.

It was actually 28 attempts, but throwwwwaway29’s point was clear. What’s less clear is why she posted the sex excuses spreadsheet on Reddit, though it’s possible she just needed some advice. And whether she wanted it or not, posters were all-too-willing to tell throwwwwaway29 how to proceed. Suggestions ranged from sending an apology email or sexy photos to asking for his help with chores so she won’t feel as tired when he wants to make whoopee.

She may need to do more, however, as she wrote on Reddit that her husband has “cut contact” with her since sending the sex excuse spreadsheet. No word on how he responded to his wife posting their dirty laundry on the Internet. But if his idea of communication is sending his wife an email spreadsheet as she is about to leave town, she may be better off without him, anyway.

About the Author

Melissa Siegel

Melissa Siegel is an entertainment writer based in a suburb of New York City. You can also check out her work at HollywoodTake.com.

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  • Matt Serna

    This is the reaction of a man pushed to the breaking point. The article says this went on for 7 weeks nearly two months that he documented I have to wonder how long had it been going on undocumented how many times did he try to communicate to his wife before things got this far. I know a man that went through something similar where his wife kept denying that any thing was wrong til he showed her in black and white some proof or evidence that she had a problem (in that case the problem was alcholism and the proof was reciepts and creditcard statements). Documenting this is a sign that this husband became desperate confirmed even more so by the fact he risked emberrassment not only for his wife but himself as well. what I want to know is did she cancel her trip and rush home to try and save her marriage or did she ignore her husbands feelings anyway and left for another ten days thinking he was bluffing about leaving her.

  • Fraggle1

    In these days in age, I’m not surprised to the new generations and societies lack of communication. The new generation texts, emails and communicate differently than we did in the past. Want to know how much our new generation lacks communication skills? Go to a high school and ask the new generation how they ask out someone? Lol….everyone is criticizing the individual (husband) how much he lacks communication skills but what about the wife? In addition, he documented all the times that he turned down. It’s like all the times when women say their husbands don’t do anything around the house when in actuality he does because of documentation such as this. One thing I do agree is, both need counseling and open up the communication line. This guy did great job. Kudos for him, for standing up for himself. I just know when a woman doesn’t want it….hello….something is wrong!!!! This is how cheating occurs and atleast he was man enough to document it!

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