Deedle Doodle, Ok! This week's question: Hey, Amber: Your column is insane, but it makes sense in a twisted way. I wanted to see if you could help me with this. I’m a 27 year old male and I recently started dating an older woman. She’s 38. I’m not myself around...
Aries: Careful driving this week Aries, I’m pretty sure someone is going to cut your brake line. Or plant a car bomb under your hood. Or carjack you. Or jump the curb at an intersection and bounce you off the windshield. Or break into your house, drag you from your bed, tie...
Do Wap Do Wap, Um.Um.Um. Just thought of that right now, right off the top of my head. Ok, here's the question... Hi Amber: I’m in my late 30’s and I hate my job, I’ve been here for years. I work in an office and it’s sooooooo boring. I’m only here because...
Seriously, I can’t bitch. I’ve gotten everything I asked for. As a kid, I had only one prayer: “Jesus Christ (for, that was my God) please make my life not so boring.” Action was what I expected out of suburban Ohio and I got it. In Ohio, yes even in Ohio, freaks...
Aries: Don’t let on, but, right now, Christie Brinkley is hiding in your crawl space. She’s scared. She’s convinced that Billy Joel wants to kill her. Whatever you do, DO NOT play anything off of River of Dreams. She painted that cover, and, in her current mental state,...
Dinky Donk, Oh, hey. Ok. That’s my intro. Here’s a question an anonymous person asked! Hi, Amber: I’ve been dating this girl for a few months, I’m also a girl. So that means I’m a lesbian. We live in different states, but we spend a lot of time together....
Aries: Really? “Nobody” can beat you at Monopoly? Bet your life that you'll win your next game, and place a gun and one bullet next to Free Parking. That’s what I thought. Stop exaggerating this week. Your lucky ethnic stereotype is the large-breasted old Russian peasant...
Beep Beep Beep - Hi! Welcome to my weird advice column, Ask Amber, a new weekly addition to Laughspin. Each week I will answer a reader's question (any question!) in hopes of helping a homosapien. If you write in telling me you are an animal I'll get pissed off, and tell you...
Aries: Buy a 1983 Robin Egg Blue Chevrolet Citation, drop a V8 Chrysler Hemi 5.7 L under the hood, wear a turtleneck and thick glasses, and get ready to make a small, illegal fortune on the underground street race circuit. No one will see this coming, except, of course, for...
