Welcome back, Greendale Human Beings! What a long, lonely time it’s been away from the study group. How was your summer? I spent a couple of weeks up in the Catskills at Camp Recapsalot honing my craft but got kicked out for sneaking into the boys’ bunk. Oh well! Anyway,...
COLD OPENING Dominique Strauss-Kahn enters jail, and is confronted by two prisoners who are incredibly knowledgable and politics. Strauss-Kahn doesn't say anything as the two debate- which I suspected might lead to a "I'm French. I don't speak English" kind of thing- but it...
Jean-Ralphio and Tom are scheming. They want to start a new exclusive high-end entertainment/events production conglomerate. It’s called 720 Productions--because they’ll go around the world twice for their clients. I’ll give you a moment to clean up the vom before I...
Parks and Recreation went down last night in two parts and in the first episode, everybody got bombed on Snake Juice, had cry-fights, and redefined the term “hangover.” And that Snake Juice sure has a dope aftertaste. And it’s 140 proof and features caffeine. Bottoms...
Annnnnd…we’re back! The gang has mostly doffed the spaghetti-Western motif (thanks, recap-part-1 commenters!), and we’re back to plain ol’ regular paintball assassin at Greendale. With the newfound knowledge that Sawyer was a plant (“it doesn’t make sense—why...
COLD OPENING Osama Bin Laden's video Will and Testament. Osama reveals his legacy is not as impressive as we were led to believe- totaling just over $700. Osama mentions Dakota Fanning several times- more specifically, a virgin, 12-year-old Dakota Fanning. The reference is kind...
We open on a sobbing Will Ferrell, trying desperately to hide a lifeless body wearing a Dundler Mifflin baseball cap. I'm just kidding. But could you imagine? We open on Deangelo, giving a speech to the entire crew. He is trying to sound like a tough boss while saying...
Sorry that we didn’t have a recap last week, you guys. I was actually in NYC and was too knee-deep in booze while on my vacation. Last week’s episode was great, though. It took us back to the classic dynamics of the characters and was a refreshing return for Tracy Jordan....
PAINTBALL PAINTBALL PAINTBALL PAINTBALL PAINTBALL!!! Okay. The opening is apocalyptic, with Fat Neil running from a paintball-gun-wielding Anthony Michael Hall. (I forgot he was on this!) Annie (or, Ace of Hearts) saves the day, only to turn on him. Fat Neil pleads with her:...
